The amazing strength of God carried us through the paperwork of organ donation for both Jenny and Claire and also on the road back to Lowestoft past the site of the accident once again. But before going home we called on the house of our good friends Mike and Sue Betts.
All the leaders of the church were there and we just collapsed into their arms. I think they were crying too as the sorrow of what had happened finally overcame us. We cried and then we prayed and once again God brought strength to our minds and bodies.
When we arrived home, there were family, church folk and school friends of the girls filling the house and garden. I guess no one knew where else to be and my first reaction was to hug people as words seemed useless. I sat in the garden for a while in an eerie silence, but it was hard to stay in one place. Where do you put yourself, how do you hide from knowledge? I kept staggering back between house and garden and occasionally falling face down in a mass of tears, overwhelmed by loss. All the time, people drew in to offer comfort as I lay there so glad not to be alone.
Worn out with sorrow I sat back against the garden fence and closed my eyes. I became aware of brilliant light and sensed the presence of Jesus. His clothes were shining white and an aura of comfort and acceptance radiated from him. Instantly I understood he was not going to abandon me. Contrary to my five senses, the mighty, radiating presence of Jesus was there before me and his strength would be enough for I had none. In fact I felt so weak that it seemed my whole body was in the process of closing down. Yet all I had to do was focus upon him, stood there like a mighty captain guarding a wounded soldier, gesturing defiance to the situation. I was utterly in his hands and he both knew and accepted it completely.